definitelynotmagic | tfln overflow & other text nonsense

[ She can't answer him. Not at first. She just stands, staring at him -- reeling from this information that's been given to her. They're friends? Friends. ]

I've... I've never, ahh... h-had friends. [ Or anyone, really. But friends weren't really a thing for her. She grew up amongst some of her older cousins, she supposes. But none of them actually wanted to be her friend nor were they even particularly kind to her either. She's truly always felt like the black sheep of the family - or rather, the white sheep, considering her family is entirely made up of demons.

She falters when he reaches for her and she wants nothing more than to reach back but-- ]

I... haven't, uh.. really b-been a good fr--iend, though. Have I? Or--ah, w-well. A g-good wife either, I... s-uppose. [ She clenches her jaw, brow drawing downwards in frustration and takes a breath to steady herself.

God, she feels awful. And a lot of other things she can't really begin to describe-- did she always feel this lonely? Before this? Did it always sting so much before he said it? She bites her lower lip hard. ]

Merlin, I--

[ Why is talking so hard? ]

You'd mentioned. [ She'd implied. Merlin interjects with it just to give some sort of mirroring, to show he's listening. But then he's less sure of what to offer to fix this. Justine sounds nervous - more than, actually. She sounds a lot like how Merlin feels right before a do-or-die moment, like the time the Great Dragon started attacking the town. It makes his own throat feel a little tight, his own heart beat a little faster.

Merlin comes forward towards the door a half-step, then reassesses the fact that he's still staring at the chain strung across the opening. ] Look, I think-- both of us are rubbish at this. Okay? But it doesn't mean we won't get it right eventually.

[ There's not a lot to touch, while they're mostly cut off by a cracked-open door, but Merlin ends up settling his hand across what he can reach of Justine's fingers, on the door frame. ] Didn't kill me yet, so we're doing alright, I think.

Y-you think we.. we c-could, uh-- actually m-make something right... out of... out of all this? [ Because the chance of actually having this, of making it right is too sweet of a feeling to let go. He's listening to her - in a life where she's never been listened to, as if she had nothing to say worth listening to-- he's listening. And it hurts because he's sweet, he cares - despite their frictions, he's good. He's trying.

His hand finds her fingers through the door, how cool they feel in comparison to her too-warm skin. Her cheeks burn and she's lost for a moment, floundering internally with the simple touch - and she doesn't pull away. How-- how are they supposed to get this right? What's the thing to do?

She startles out a laugh: ] No... no, I suppose I uh, haven't, actually. Th-that's... actually a g-good... point.

[ Justine hesitates for a long time, just staring at his hand on her fingers. She still doesn't move them away. Finally she looks up at him through the crack in the door, she's definitely nervous. Her voice is quiet, barely above a whisper - a slight trill to her words from that nervousness, almost anticipation. She licks at her lips but her mouth feels dry. ]

Merlin, do... do you th-think you could... uh, maybe-- get your hand out of the d-door? [ A beat. ] ... Please? I'm... I'm n-not going to lock the ah, d-door again, promise.

[ You know, she'd rather just not jam his hand in it while trying to actually open it properly. ]

[ Merlin's nodding is a slow, subtle thing, because he's nervous, too. But he also can't help but look at Justine during the moments when she's happy — reading, or the one time she'd come back to their room and gushed to him about the castle library, or when he'd gifted her a little wooden trinket of a bookmark — and think that there's always been someone worth knowing, in there. It's just that it's buried under— other things. Fear, maybe. Like how some of Merlin's own softness is occasionally buried by duty or reactive anger. ] Yeah. Yeah, I think we could make something out of this.

[ Justine doesn't flinch away from his fingers resting on hers, and Merlin feels relief wash over him. The remaining irritation from earlier seems swept away in it.

So he's a bit alarmed at that request, at first. The initial expression on his face is naked betrayal, but then his eyebrows go up as he realizes— ] Why, what— oh, right, sure. I'll just, uh— [ He takes a step back, fingers still lingering on Justine's, before he laughs ah shakes his head and finally takes his hand away. ]

It really is too hot out here, so I hope you're telling the truth. [ There's mischief in his face now, as he waits for the door to be shut so he can be let in. ]

tfln overflow & other text nonsense

wow this was rude ok

i came here to destroy everyone's hearts and i'm having a great time right now

i am personally attacked right now

comin back again